A Short Border Handbook by Gazmend Kapllani

Author:Gazmend Kapllani
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Steerforth Press
Published: 2017-10-03T04:00:00+00:00

19

It seemed that everything was going Sex Boy’s way that day. We hadn’t taken five steps when we found ourselves standing outside a video club. We had never seen anything like it, except on TV. The truth is that even though we were amazed by everything we were seeing, what stunned us more than anything else were the kiosks and the hawkers working the town, bellowing down their megaphones. The kiosks struck us as completely surreal, so much so that Xhemal wondered why nobody robbed them. “If this was Albania, they’d be empty.” Anyway, we charged into the video club as though we had come to greet the Messiah. Inside there was only the one assistant, a dark-haired, really gorgeous young woman. When she saw the invasion, all of us dressed in what were effectively rags, black with filth and exhaustion, with uncombed hair, she was terrified. She leapt to her feet and took a step back. She didn’t even ask what we wanted, she just stared at us, as though she were waiting for us to attack her or make off with all the videos. Sex Boy was in his element. He had discovered the porn section and was inspecting the covers one by one, back and front, the way that an archaeologist might examine the bones of a dinosaur. If we hadn’t literally pulled him out, he could happily have spent at least another week in there.

Back outside, Xhemal and the drivers walked a short distance ahead and Sex Boy and I followed them. Sex Boy, transformed by his experience inside the video club, had suddenly become very talkative and started telling me the valium story. Apparently he’d managed to buy a special hi-tech device from a man in his town that allowed you to watch foreign channels, many more than a standard antenna can pick up, including a couple of porn channels that you could get late at night. Unfortunately his house was very small and he couldn’t turn on the TV at that hour without waking up his parents, who slept in the next room. Once his father did wake up and saw what his son was watching, all hell broke loose. But since Sex Boy could not resist temptation, he had to come up with a solution to the parent problem: he bought some valium, which he sneaked into his parents’ food at dinner time every evening. His father got a double dose, just to be sure that Sex Boy could enjoy an uninterrupted night of pleasure with his favorite films. But his father soon got suspicious about the fact that he and his wife were suddenly sleeping so deeply and were finding it so difficult to wake up in the morning for work. One evening, the father proved himself to be a little more cunning than the son. He pretended to have eaten his dinner, but actually flushed it down the toilet. What happened next is something Sex Boy would rather forget: he’d been caught redhanded; the special hi-tech device was history and he got the thrashing of his life.

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